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Giving yourself some grace

By Mary Pettigrew

When you have MS, each day can be a discombobulated, unpredictable, and challenging struggle. For those of us who live with MS, we probably know what this feels like, and it sucks. I also think a lot of us are harder on ourselves compared to the person living without MS or other types of chronic, incurable illness. It’s not my place to say. Grieving is grieving and we are all different with the disease and the way we process the challenges it brings into our lives each and every day.

I recently came across an interesting blog written by Lisa Kohn. She does not have MS, but through her writing, she has shared a lot of interesting and relevant insights into some of the other issues she has dealt with throughout her life that I’m sure many of us can relate to. Whether you want to call it yoga, life coaching, mindfulness, etc., Lisa talks about the various practices and tools she tries to use on a regular basis. She makes it a point to say whether it be minute-to-minute, day-to-day, week-to-week, or longer, just remind yourself to practice grace and give yourself the grace you deserve.

So, what does this ‘giving yourself grace’ mean? I take it thus – try being kind to yourself when the road gets rocky. It’s not a selfish act and it’s not about giving up. It’s a healthy practice for moving forward and for self-preservation as well. Here are just a few examples of giving yourself grace:
 
  • Practice self-care
  • Set boundaries
  • Ask for help when needed
  • Practice being mindful and take time outs when needed 
  • See the good and the joy wherever you can
  • Recognize when (or if) you need professional help and seek the help
  • Love yourself
  • Love others
  • Listen to others – even if you don’t share mutual viewpoints
  • Feel! Feel the good, bad, and the ugly
  • Take a gander at neuroplasticity and learn how important it is to improve and maintain brain health as best as possible. 
  • Life and living with misery are destructive if you let it be so – but does it have to be? No.

I recently watched a lovely documentary called Lucille Ball: We Love Lucy. It was released in 2020 and was filled with so many wonderful captions from her birth to death. It also included so many fabulous, and sometimes painful details of the life of Lucille Ball – her career, family and so much more. I’ve always loved Lucy and could relate to some of the many quotes included in the film. She was an enigma! Here’s a particular quote of hers that resonated with me.

“You can’t go on and on for years being miserable about a situation and not have it change you. (If so), you get so you can’t stand yourself!” ~ Lucille Ball
  • Give yourself grace. When you want to do something, but cannot, it’s okay. Allow yourself to be okay with setbacks. When you have to cancel plans, it’s okay. Allow yourself to be okay with these interruptions.
 
  • And always remember this… 
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” ~ John Lennon

So, no matter what, find a way to give yourself some grace today, tomorrow, and each day as you continue to move forward living your life with MS.